An Open Letter

Dear Friend,

I’m sorry that my text wasn’t what you expected.  It wasn’t mean to be anything at all except for perhaps some cry to make conversation, maybe more than conversation to seek answers to my own confusion at the moment.  I thought that perhaps you would be more understandable as open as you say you are. It even less meant to degrade you or make you feel uncomfortable at all.  For that I’m sorry; as I am for your childhood too.  I believe that children who have a happy childhood have a happy life.  For those who have a history or a not so pleasant one need to learn how to cope with it, live it, love it and learn from it.   But also learn how to let go, how to forgive, and most importantly how to move forward from it.   I sometimes feel that people use their childhood as an excuse to become better, not to fight for better life and often times use their past to ruin their future; but if we learn from it and let it be what it is and move forward; I think we can have better lives.  I’m not saying that your childhood doesn’t need work even after you grow up, I think if you have open wounds maybe it’s time to fine a way to cure them and close them.  Only after that you will be free; only after than you can be happy. 

By the way, I may have judged you before about you being online.  Before when it really meant something to our relationship and me.  Now, I’m more open-minded I guess or call it understandable.  But I must admit that still bothers me a little and I think that’s normal, no? I’m a human being.   Do I think you need to be online to feel confortable talking to someone,? No.  Do I think you need to overcome your shyness on sex websites? No.  And what value does it have if some complete stranger who has no clue about your life and your past gives you a compliment?  Is it really truthful? I don’t think so.   Don’t you rather have that from someone who knows you or care about you either as a friend or lover; I think it has more meaning, don’t you think?  But I again, we all have our ways of coping with things.  Some people has faster, more productive methods and some are failures; I guess the best is the ones that gives us result; positive ones!

Theirs is a part of me that is very sad that our moment didn’t become what I expected it to be.  Like you said; it’s no one’s faults but perhaps the time.  I’m glad though that we met and experience what we did; otherwise we wouldn’t be here today being stronger human beings.  Do I wish a different result, perhaps, but I’m happy to have us in each other’s lives.

I am open, and love you too!